Killing Sin

I recently came across this article by Sinclair Ferguson entitled, "The Practice of Mortification" on the Ligonier Ministries website. In an effort to work through it and understand it better, I condensed and re-worded it. Hopefully Mr. Ferguson won't mind my sharing his work in this way. He bases the article primarily on Colossians 3:1-17.


1. I am a new creature in Christ, and I need to remember that every day and hour. It is my new identity, for I've died, been buried, been raised, and my life is hidden in Christ. I've been delivered from sin's dominion, and been liberated to fight against sin's remnants in my heart.

2. Sin must be attacked in every area of my life, not just one area. All forms of sin work together against me, supporting one another. I am the issue, not some particular sin, just like potato chips are not a dieter's problem, the person is!

3. Practical guidance for mortifying sin - Paul give hints in the overall passage:

     A. Call sin like it really is, don't pussy-foot or down-play your own sin -- for me it is sexual immorality, impurity, evil desire, idolatry. Sin needs to be exposed for what it truly is, before we can deal with it.

     B. See my sin from God's perspective, recognize that it deserves God's wrath, and I must bring it to the cross daily to see Christ bearing God's wrath against my sin. My sin does not lead to lasting pleasure, but to divine displeasure. I need to see my sin's character by the way God judges it. Sin is as serious in a believer as in an unbeliever, and is not forgiven if I continue in it -- for that would be evidences of a lack of repentance. I need to feel the shame of the sin I once committed, and now struggle against.

     C. Sin is inconsistent with who I really am in Christ. I am no longer the "old man" nor "in Adam", but "in Christ". Sin is not consistent with being in Christ, so if I am not living in newness of life through Christ, then I am not living "in Christ."

     D. Putting sin to death is as simple as refusing it, starving it, rejecting it. It is painful, but there is no other way.

But puting sin to death is only a part of the whole picture, and cannot be done by itself. It must be done in conjunction with "putting on" Christ. The negative will not be accomplished separate from the positive, and vise-versa. We must understand and apply the "glorious exchange" principle of the Gospel of grace in order to make advancements in holiness. Adam-like sinful desires and habits are not only rejected, but exchanged for Christ-like graces, actions, and are held together by love. This evidences itself in our private, family, and public lives, for the glory of God.

Some random thoughts

I like to have an organized and logical approach to writing a blog entry, and a whole bunch of other areas of life, I suppose! But tonight I just wanted to put some disconnected thoughts out there.

This has been a generally good week, but I feel like I'm lagging in my endeavor to draw near to God practically. I have not been spending time in the Word daily, and I really want to. I'm sure my flesh and the devil are conspiring to keep me from finding a way to begin this habit, but I am determined to break free from the old and pursue the new. If you're reading this, will you pray for me?

Early in the week, I found Fred Stoeker's blog and wrote him with my story and a few questions that I am hoping he can answer or steer me in the right direction on. I really don't know if he will answer or not, but it was helpful to put my story and questions together in writing, and I know that God is the one who will give me direction, answers, and encouragement!

Speaking of which, I was super-encouraged to hear back from a friend this week, whom I had written several weeks ago. He and his family live on the other side of the country now, and we have not really been in touch much fora few years. I had written him and gave him a general idea that I was struggling with some issues, but was not very specific, and indicated that I would appreciate his prayers and was interested in possibly corresponding with him casually. He shared a couple of areas that he had been challenged in and been overcoming in the past couple of years, by God's grace. He wants to start a Bible study via email so we can encourage and challenge one another. I am super excited, because he is a humble and honest and gracious Christian, but also because I think it will be beneficial for me to be open and real with another close friend, and thirdly because this relationship will promote my interest in the Bible and help me stay focused on it!

Well, it is Friday night, the girls are in bed, and I am looking forward to spending some quality time with Cherie. So, I'll close this short and somewhat disconnected post, and hope to see you sometime next week!

Pressing Forward!

"Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:12-14)

I don't have much time to share my thoughts on these verses, which I memorized last week. These verses have been a big encouragement to Cherie and me over the past few months, and we are slowly realizing that applying this concept is possible in our mariage! Yes, we have a lot of hard and ugly things to leave behind, and Satan would have us hang on to them and keep them in the present, but God is faithful, and He is delivering us form our past, giving us some joy and hope in the present, and we know that He is for us and desires (and is planning) a great future for us. Not that the future will be all roses and sunshine, but that we will grow in our appreciation for Him and for the marriage that He has graciously given us.

It is really hard for me to write a short blog entry, but I am trying! I just cannot leave these verses without saying that the part where he says, "that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me" has been really meaningful to me, though I can't pretend to fully understand it. What I see is that Jesus laid ahold of me (in choosing me for salvation) for a specific purpose. I need to press on to to embrace that purpose and, by His grace and through His power, fulfill it. He has provided everything I need in order to complete the task/purpose that He has in mind for me, and it will be for His glory. I can bank on that, and I need to learn more of that faith, and pursue that purpose!

And it is comforting to know that He will never let go of me, for He has already laid hold of me, and He is not letting go! What a wonderful Savior!

BAG - Blogs, Articles, and other Good stuff

OK, so I don't really have any readers for this blog yet -- it is kinda hard to get them if you don't even start out with friends who follow you! Sigh... But in reality, this blogging project is more about expressing myself at this point in time. I have learned that it is important for me to work through stuff in writing, as it is a practice which fits my mind well and allows me to better enter into what I am thinking about.

Anyway, today's post is a common blog idea, I suppose... share some other blogs and things that I have enjoyed recently, with a few words (ha!) to tease you with what each one is about. Here goes...

Tom & Debi Walter from The Romantic Vineyard had an article on shame this week (Shame on You!), which I found very helpful in understanding my own situation. It helped both Cherie and I to see how what I have done in our marriage has brought shame into both of our lives, and we ned to avail ourselves of Christ's cleansing. They reference and post a few excerpts from an article by Ed Welch and also provide some other resrouces on the subject. I need to go back and read it prayerfully again!

Marriage Life Ministries posted an article (MT Project: I Need to Lay Me Down) about sacrificial love and taking the lead in serving one another. Here's a teaser: "You’ll be amazed at the changes you see in your spouse (and yourself) if you begin serving and giving of yourself and caring more about your spouse and their needs then about your own." There is plenty of room for me to apply this in my life!

Paul from The Generous Husband wrote about a similar concept on his blog (Why it's good that some of it is your fault), including this, "Working on that 5% will do a lot more for your marriage than whining about the 95% over which you have no power. " I think that it would be more appropriate to classify me as having 95% of the issues, not Cherie!

I don't know much about Russell Moore, but a friend linked to this Q&A article (Should I divorce if I'm miserable) and some of it resonated with me. After writing about short-term hardship versus long-term reward and joy, he says, "But even if your marriage never becomes what you thought it might be, it is worth it to stand by your words and maintain fidelity to the wife of your youth." And if you're the kind who likes to grapple with diverse views by reading responses, there are plenty of comments to sift through! Oh, and I noticed he has written a book (Tempted and Tried) about temptation that I will consider buying and reading sometime.

Well, it's Friday evening, and that's my 3rd post for this week. It feels good to be a little closer to being on top of my goals for this week. And it's time to go get some pizza for my family to celebrate the end of this crazy week.

Lust, and the Danger of Deception

This week I was struck by a couple of things other people have written about this topic, one which is relevant to me (Christophe).

I was reading something John Piper wrote about lust (he preached it too -- you can read or listen on the Desiring God site), and I will begin with his definition of lust: "a sexual desire that dishonors its object and disregards God." This basic definition and his expansion of it was very helpful to me. I got a new perspective on the underlying principles of lust, marriage, faith, salvation, godliness, and honoring others. I was struck by the solution, summarized here in an anonymous writer that he quotes: "The way to fight lust is to feed faith with the knowledge of an irresistibly glorious God," which ties in nicely with John Piper's main theme in ministry of glorifying God by enjoying Him. It dawned on me that my efforts to fill my mind with Scripture, my wife, and other good things in an effort to get rid of thoughts of another woman are good, but somehow miss the mark. It is essential to have my heart engaged with God, to have my affections for God awakened and satisfied. Yes, reading Scripture is helpful, but the focus of it needs to be on getting to know God in my heart, and not just in acquiring knowledge or in occupying my mind.

Something else that was meaningful to me this week on this topic was a blog post by Justin Davis (he and his wife Trisha blog at RefineUs.org). In it, he tells about his recent conversations with his 13-year-old son on the topic of sexual temptation. A few things that struck me were his point that we need not be ashamed of being tempted (for Jesus Himself was); and that "Sin doesn’t come because we are tempted. Sin comes as [we] act like we aren’t tempted. Temptation only grows in secret." In other words, when we deny or hide the fact that we are tempted, our vulnerability to temptation grows -- and I can vouch for that in my own life story. It grows because we keep it secret, and secrecy is a great fuel for temptation and more and more sin. This applies to any type of sin, not just sexual sin -- deception is at the heart of sin in every form. Justin goes on to say that the solution to our temptation comes "as we share those temptations with one another and bring them into the light." This was very insightful to me, and reinforces to me that being open and honest with Cherie about my daily battles is helpful. It's helpful for me because I don't give space in a dark/sheltered place for temptation to grow into sin, and it's helpful for her because she cannot learn to trust me if I am not transparent in an area where I have been very deceptive in the past.

I am thankful for God's continuing work in my life, and am reminded of how much I have to learn and how much I can learn from others!

Gotta start somewhere...

It is hard to know where to start when beginning to blog here. On one hand, we would like to write our whole story in order to give you enough context to understand current events, thoughts, and struggles. On the other hand, I (Christophe) am anxious to get started; to put in writing what is going through my head; to try and share my heart and work out the implications. Given that we start without a large following, there isn't so much room for confusion by starting in the middle and filling in the background as we go along, so here goes...

Having said that, here's a little background so that today's entry will make at least a little sense. A few years ago, I slowly fell into an emotional affair with an acquaintance from church, a friend of my wife's. This woman didn't/doesn't know about my feelings for her, but I finally confessed them to my wife last May, not long before our 14th wedding anniversary. My willingness to speak the truth, and subsequently to turn from my sin, was all of God's grace, and was part of a long and intricately braided ribbon of His goodness that we so often have taken for granted; misunderstood; or missed altogether. In the past nearly 9 months, we have had to rely on Christ's gospel-grace in ways that we never did before, and have learned a lot about our sinfulness and constant need of Him. As you can imagine, a short paragraph like this one does very little to convey the depth of the impact to our marriage that my sin has had -- mostly unseen before my confession; deeply felt but far from understood on that explosive day; and increasingly devastating in the difficult days since as we have worked through the implications and roots.

Back to the present. God has really changed my heart to give me a deep love for Cherie and a passion to be 100% faithful to her. I still battle against thoughts for the other woman, but not as one who is enslaved any longer, but as one who has tasted freedom and has experienced Christ's victory in ways I never thought possible. But it still bothers me that she comes into my thoughts at all; that my mind sometimes drifts in her direction -- sometimes without obvious provocation; that I have some fear of seeing her or hearing about her; that there is any leakage of precious resources towards her which have been reserved by God exclusively for my wife. Cherie has been through so much heartache at my hands, and has shown such God-given patience and strength through all of this, and it only makes me long for complete deliverance all the more. I ache to truly meet her needs and desires; to bring her strength instead of weakness; and to rain blessings instead of burdens upon her.

With Cherie's support and encouragement, I am endeavoring to fill up my mind with good things, to employ my mind in profitable ventures, to set goals and work towards them in a way that provides plenty of opportunity to scheme and process and polish up thoughts that are helpful. And all the while, I am seeking God and trusting Him to work in my heart and mind, to deliver me from these old sinful thought patterns. Here are the goals that I have set for myself, to accomplish every week, beginning today:

• Memorize 3 relevant Scripture verses that I can challenge and encourage myself with throughout the week, and in the days ahead.




• Listen to 3 hours of audio books, and share observations and reflections with Cherie.




• Write 3 blog posts, which might be here or on a couple of other blogs we have, one of which is just for Cherie and I to share with each other, the other is a personal blog for some family and friends.




• Write to encourage and update a Christian friend or missionary that we know.

That's a total of 10 things each week, due on Saturday. As you can see, there is plenty to do and think about here, especially with two little children at home and full-time job. Thankfully, my work includes a fair amount of driving each week, which allows time to listen to books and think creatively, but it also makes it all the more needful to focus my thoughts intentionally.

God isn't finished with us yet, and we know that He will complete the work He has begun. We are so thankful that He included us in His plan of salvation, and even included my failure as a means to working deeply to deliver from sin and transform our marriage for His glory and other good purposes. I hope and pray daily for this transforming work to continue and bear fruit.

If you're reading this, I hope you will pray for me and for us, and share your own thoughts or Scriptural principles that might be helpful. Thank You!